So i just had over a 10 minute conversation with my boss about being single. We were talking about Facebook (she has a 21 year old daughter at Emerson). I was looking at baby pictures of some of my friends children. She had asked me how many of my friends had children and i said, oh only like 4 or 5 actually have children, the rest are either getting married or are engaged. She was shocked and said, how old are you, and i replied 23.
She then continued to say wow, is that in the future for you? And i said, well yes, down the road, in say like 5 years or longer, i have no significant other to be looking forward to a future with.
She then went on to say that she would have no clue as to where you could meet someone. Especially me due to the fact that the things i am interested in surround me with either gay men or christian men who may (probably) find me too liberal for their taste. Now that i am out of college, where would i even think about meeting a guy?
Lonely. It's where my mind sits now. Not with work (which i have a lot of), but with the fact that i don't know where i could meet men any more. Sure at Suffolk I could've met men. I mean, i met men, just never dated them really. And then last year, well last year was a relationship fiasco. So this year, is a semi-fresh slate (i say semi because i can't seem to comeplete erase some from my slate). And now, i have this fear that its all over. I'm done. And for god's sake, i am only 23. I'm not supposed to have this thought until a very long time from now. But this woman, with pure intentions, has now racked my brain and heart with fear of singleness forever.
I guess it is possible that i have been called to singledom. Sure, that's a fesible notion, but, i 100% disagree. I think i would make a very good wife and mother. Yet, track record proves otherwise.
I used to think, its not me though... its definately the guy. But millions of men later, its still me. What makes me good enough to be someones best friend. To be such a good person that they want me in their life forever, but not great enough for them to want me in their life as their wife forever, or not even for ever, their girlfriend for a year or two?
I just hope to not be alone. i hope to find someone to share life with. I want someone to support me through everything. I want someone to go to bed next to and someone to wake up next to. I want to share my joys and sorrows and in return do the same for them. Don't get me wrong. My roomates and friends are great. Its just not the same... there is something lacking.
This is what my evening includes, yay!
Astrovirus
14 years ago
5 comments:
You don't know me (and, aside from this post, I don't know you either), but I hear you. Meeting interesting people is difficult enough, and meeting someone with whom one shares a romantic interest is even rarer, especially when there's no magical buzzer that goes off to signal that you've found such a person.
So there are two things I can tell you. 1) I waited a very long time and experience the very same feelings that you are going through right now, before coming to a place in my life where I felt that I was specifically being prepared by God for marriage. 2) Other people tried to tell me the same thing I just said in point one (above) and it just made me angry and annoyed at them.
With that in mind, please go read this post. It is NOT you. It IS them. It will BE you if you continue to let them take advantage of you.
Love you.
--girl
Total empathy here.
Whenever I hear someone talk about the "gift of singleness", I can't help thinking about the sweater that my grandmother gives me for christmas every year. I'm damn sure I didn't ask for a sweater, but I get one nonetheless. And I'm expected to smile and say "thank you, it's just what I needed", which may be true, but it sure isn't what I wanted.
Totally. What the hell is the gift of singleness, a nice of way of saying your a spinster. I don't know any more. Best of all the conversation was continued this morning when i walked in and was told, i thought about it all night, and even asked my husband, but we have no idea where you could meet someone. GREAT. No hope from my peers. Thanks guys ;)
OMG I have long thought of the gift of singleness as a sweatshirt with a lace collar and kitten printed on it. It will keep you warm if you have to have it, but it's sure as hell not your first choice. . . .
On the other hand, I have learned in the last year or so that everything I have is God's (even my romantic relationships). I have the ocassional lapse, but for the most part, I am just happy for the opportunities that singleness has to offer right now -- you know like whole days in pj's watching sex and the city ;). Oh, and all the time for volunteering. . .
Post a Comment