That's not what Dad would say...

So i had an interested interaction this morning with my roomates. Keep in mind, this isn't a bad interaction, just interesting from my point of view. Here we go:

scene : R1 and I standing near R2's car. R2 is locking the door.

Me: Alright, well, i'm going to go and ride my bike to the T (me goes towards the bike)
R2: Are you going to wear a helmet?
Me: No...
R1: You really should, we've got extras, do you want one?
Me: No, i'll be ok, really.
R2: I really think you should wear a helmet. I'm just saying. I don't want to be like your mom, but just think about it ok? Just think about it.
Me: (still paralized by the thought of someone saying i should be wearing a helmet) It's alright, i'll just walk to the T.

Now, the interaction and my reaction weren't against who said it and what was said. It was the fact that it was said at all. I have never really had someone say to me, no please wear a helmet, we care too much about you to let you do stupid things. It was just really nice and a huge change from what I have been used to. My dad would never had stopped me from going out on the bike without a helmet and to have 2 people saying to me, no, please wear this protective gear because we don't want something to happen to you... well, it just meant a lot. (So, R1 and R2, thank you for caring).

In other news, i am back at crazy work! I missed it a lot. I am still very frustrated with the fact that i was out. I don't even have sick days yet, so this whole thing is just a mess. But work loves me and says we'll work it out, which is amazing. I am so glad to have gotten a job with such understanding and caring people.

Also today is the 1 year anniversary of Katrina. So many emotions are flowing through me but i think Mike said it best in an email he sent to some of our crew:

With the anniversary of the hurricane today, I think the risks that you all took and the time you gave show a lot about who you are. I am proud to know all of you and extremely proud of what we accomplished while we were in NOLA. Please never forget it, and always talk about it.

Thank you everyone who over the past year has listened to me whine and complain. Thank you for always supporting me through wanting to go find bodies, gutting houses and organizing groups to go down. Thank you for everything.

PS. Happy 1 year friend anniversary ;)

Now i am just angry...

I called the "doctors" office today because they hadn't called with the results of my tests. The woman on the phone, before giving me my results, yelled at me (seriously) for not having a primary care physican. I explained to her the situation and she said, well there is nothing I can do to uncomplicate your mess you've made. I asked kindly for the blood test results and she said, oh fine, i'll read them (WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?).

Drumroll please:

According to mean doctor (who i like less then stupid "doctor") I have anti-bodies for both A and B which are old, supposedly indicating a vaccine. This is all good news. So be happy for me.However, she didn't know why they were testing me again due to the fact that the evidence was right there. She suggests, i call back around 12 to see if i can talk to the 2 doctors i have seen over the past few days. She said there was no reason to, and I said, i needed to talk to them about me going back to work. Mean Doctor said, there was no reason you should've been out of work in the first place. I am angry.

I then explained my positive TB reading and she says, oh people get positive readings all the time. Its nothing to worry about. And i said, I work at an HIV/AID community center, for me its something to worry about. And she said, maybe you should get a new job with all of your supposed diseases.

Then i spoke to her supervisior.

So as of thus far, i do not have diseases YAY! (except maybe TB). I am waiting for a call from the Boston Living Center so i can explain the TB to them and HOPEFULLY I can go into work for the rest of the day, yay!!

If not, its Friends, Season 5 for me :) Leave me some love.

Doctors and Drunks

Medical update:

1. my TB test was positive
2. there are more blood tests for Hep A and B, i should get the results by Tuesday?3. i am being tested for more parasite

I am scared and angry and frustrated. I am not sure what to do with all this. In the end, its possible that I won't have anything and all of it could've been a stupid test. I am worried about money and how this is all going to pan out with work and rent and bills.

I also had a really rough night at church. I am going to copy and paste from some e-mails we've already written:

Nick, a guy we work with on Thursday night, was sitting alone at first, 4 pews from the front in the middle, worshiping just like the rest of us. He then moved over to sit with us for a few minutes, then got up and moved to the front pew (only three away from where we were sitting), stumbling a bit on his way, and sat down next to Melissa (from the praise band) and started talking/crying to her. 2 men from the church went up front and sat next to him. This was right before the scripture was about to be read. (As a side, the guy who leads the praise band got up on stage, surprisingly to the woman about to read scripture, and said we were going to sing another song... not in usual fashion to the evening schedule...) The two men escorted Nick out of the sanctuary through the front stairs. That is where Scott and I sat in the lobby talking to Nick. but it was like talking to a brick wall. We tried contacting some detox places but did not have much luck as Nick had been banned from a few of them. We hung out with Nick in the Ockenga Lobby for the duration of the sermon upstairs, and got to the point where we could not do anything more for him. He mentioned he had an AA meeting at 7pm on K or Kay Street. It was 5:30pm at this point and we had to give some tough love and move him outside and encourage him to go to the AA meeting and start doing things to help himself out. We had sat there for about 45 minutes or so chatting and trying to encourage him but he was so intoxicated that he just kept repeating the same things over and over and was not absorbing or listening to anything we had to say.

It was really hard too see someone go through this awful situation. It was so heartbreaking to see someone not recognize people they have known for months. It was sad to hear someone so desperate to change and be better for his children and then wanting to go right over to the liquor store and spend the only 6 dollars he has on booze instead of the food he desprately craves. It was so hard to see someone want to change and feel there was no other option but to get drunker. It's totally something i don't get, but would like to because i feel like it would help.

It's so frustrating to not have an idea of what to do. Not to know how to shake someone and say, "you're slowly killing yourself if you keep doing things". How do you make them see that they can stop and need to stop if they want to survive?

struggling.

I am really struggling right now. I am becoming a bit depressed about the whole medical situation.

My doctor called again tonight to let me know about more test results.

Good: I do NOT have hep C.

I do have anti-bodies for hep A. (this could also fall under the bad category. Antibodies only show that my body has been fighting this OR there has been a vaccine. I will be having more tests tomorrow (Saturday).)

I have had both vaccines for A and B.

My chest x-ray shows no sign of TB.


Bad: I do have anti-bodies for both A and B, and the "doctor" thinks that the B is not from a vaccine. I will have more tests on Satruday to define if the antibodies are fighting something or are the vaccine.

My TB test is almost definately positive. It has swelled and its hard for me to move my arm. Although my x-ray is clear, my "doctor" is concerned about my tb test. I find out tomorrow more about that.

The so-called "Katrina Cough" is acting up again and my "doctor" would like me to see a resporatory specialist.


My love for the TV show House is sadly becoming a scary reality. There is a referal out to "one of the best diagnostic doctors in Boston" for me to see about everything. I am just so upset. I am angry at Common Ground for saying that the water was fine (when infact Giardia and Hep A live in contaminated water). I am angry at myself for telling Marian that I didn't need her filter that she wanted to buy me. I am mad that again, over and over in my life, i try to do good and i get crap for it. I am sick of trying to change the world and having it bite me in the ass. I want to do good, so stop holding me down. Also it is more than certain that i will never be able to donate blood again. And that REALLY upsets me. I am just slowly becoming depressed and I hope that I can snap out of it soon.

My doctors appt tomorrow should do the following (or atleast begin test for...)

1. repeat giardia attack
2. Hep A Vaccine Anti-bodies
3. Hep B Vaccine Anti-bodies
4. TB
5. Pneumonia, bronchitis, etc... (for the Katrina cough)

I believe that is all for tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. Hopefully I'll be in a better mood. I have a roaring party to go to ;)

because giardia wasn't enough...

I was at work yesterday, recovering from the fact my landlord said we could have no cat :( when a friend from New Orleans called. Apparently she was having some blood tests done and it showed traces of Hepatitis A. Her doctor suggested she call all of those she lived with in NOLA just incase.

As i recieved this message, i was sniffleing and feeling a little warm from a possible fever. I have been feeling run down all week, but i thought that was me getting back into the work thing. I called Taiwo, our nutritionist/medical googler and she asked of my symptoms and reccomended I go to the doctor immediately.

I had a ton of blood work done and x-rays and wonderfull other things.


The outcome as of 9 am on Friday morning. There is evidence in my blood and liver of a parasite (great, we knew this!) and my liver enzymes are up saying that my liver is damaged. She also mentioned something about toxins. I will find out within the next 3 days whether i have it, but the dr. is pretty sure that i do. WONDERFUL.

So, i now get to hang out at home, alone. And I'm really angry and frustrated.

a splattering of words.

I'm wondering if a soul mate always has to refer to a lover. I have been struggling lately with a case of caring for someone too much. I respect their feelings and have taken actions to move on and forget about it. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to. I feel drawn to this relationship, be it platonic or not. I feel that the person needs to be involved in my life in one form or another. What i am trying to figure out now is how to do that. Silly things come up and all i think is, "oh i wish i could call so and so". The worst part, is that it is not just one person. There have been a few throughout my life span who I have struggled with this exact issue. What am i doing that creates this confusion and strange blending.

I specifically recall Andrew writing to me once in an e-mail that he just couldn't figure out how i fit in his life. Was I a girl friend, a girlfriend, a lover, a platonic person, an aquaintance, who was I? The situation ended not so gracefully with Andrew feeling that another friend, Rae, was more of the girlfriend than i, but, to this day, i still question and wonder what we had.

It a thought i guess of a connection. Some deep connection that one only finds every so often. But what if i am not emotially ready to handle that connection in the capacity that is mutually accepted?

Road Trip that I think is funny.

ROAD TRIP
Take one FEMA trailer, add an impassioned man: Washington is about to get shaken up
Saturday, August 19, 2006
By Bob Warren
St. Bernard/Plaquemines bureau

The idea didn't come to Rockey Vaccarella in those harrowing hours after Hurricane Katrina, when he clung to the rooftop of his flooded Meraux home. It didn't come four days later, when he finally left his native St. Bernard Parish, exhausted and shocked at the near-total devastation that lay before him.

No, the idea came during a fleeting conversation with another frustrated Katrina victim.

"A gentleman said to me, 'You know, somebody ought to take a FEMA trailer and park it on the White House lawn,' " Vaccarella said.

So was born Vaccarella's quest: to pull a trailer to Washington, stopping along the way to raise awareness of the plight of south Louisiana, and maybe, just maybe, share a meal inside the trailer with President Bush.

"I don't like negative," Vaccarella, 41, said. "So I'm not doing it to bash the president or anybody else. Just the opposite: I want to thank him for all he's done -- but tell him please don't forget about us."

Against a backdrop of back-patting and high-fiving Friday morning, Vaccarella's caravan -- a few vehicles, a couple of motorcycles and, of course, the trailer -- pulled out of Chalmette for the three-day trip to Washington.

"Is this beautiful or what?" Vaccarella asked no one in particular, shortly after an enthusiastic display of shadowboxing to the theme music from the movie "Rocky," played by members of the Chalmette High School band. "Me, I think this is just beautiful."

Vaccarella said his stops on the way to Washington -- the itinerary calls for overnights in Montgomery, Ala.; Columbia, S.C.; and Richmond, Va. -- will give his crew the opportunity to spotlight the plight of post-Katrina south Louisiana.

"There's so much that needs to be done," he said. "I'm going to tell everybody, 'Hey, you can't just let this whole place go to waste.' "

Vaccarella, his wife and their son live in a FEMA trailer in front of his house. But that's not the trailer he's towing to Washington.

"FEMA had some problems with us towing our own FEMA trailer," he said. "So the trailer we're pulling is borrowed, but it's an exact replica of a FEMA trailer."

And its heavily stocked with the staples of south Louisiana cuisine. One of the members of the caravan, Jason Miller, also known as the "FEMA gourmet," will handle all the cooking and plans a special treat for Bush: redfish roulade.

"I guarantee he'll like it," Miller said with a grin.

Obviously, getting an audience with the leader of the free world won't be easy. And getting him to come inside a trailer for a meal, no matter how delicious, borders on the impossible. A White House spokesman said Bush would not be able to meet with Vaccarella.

Vaccarella knew he faced long odds in getting dinner with the boss. Steve Scaffidi, a crew member documenting the journey on video, said patrons at a Metairie bar Thursday night had initially installed Vaccarella as a 99-1 underdog to dine with Bush, but he remained committed to the mission.

And while it doesn't appear dinner with the president is in the cards, late Friday another ranking government official did commit to a meal in the trailer. Donald Powell, federal coordinator of Gulf Coast rebuilding, plans to dine with Vaccarella, a Powell spokeswoman said.

Powell should expect an interesting conversation.

"We've got a real story to tell," Vaccarella said.

. . . . . . .

Follow "One Man's Journey" at www.nola.com/weblogs/events.

Bob Warren may be reached at bwarren@timespicayune.com or (504) 826-3363.

technically back, but where am i?

So although physically, i am back in Boston. My job is going well, i am getting things started and getting myself involved. I have made my desk space my own and am getting to know people. I have started to organize so that I understand or atleast can pretend to understand what is going on. My new roomies are great, so thats good. My friends are supportive, but i don't seem some of them as much as i'd like. However, i still don't feel whole. The trip took a lot out of me, and i am sure that its going to take a lot for me to get back on track.

I have been doing a lot of me searching and have figured out a few things. My heart does not give up on things easily. My mind races with logistics that it doesn't have time to listen to my heart. I ache for certain people, pang for others and stress about more. I am a jealous being who doesn't necessarily feel like things always need to be her way, but sometimes thinks it could be better if we atleast tried it once. I'm depressed when i miss people and overly excited when they appear, yet become manic when they disappear again.

I think its possible that i am struggling with post tramatic stress disorder... or something. My mind is just else where. Ok, back to work.

Back!

My last few days in New Orleans were spent quite different from the first.

On Sunday, I went to the Aquarium (where i threw up by the sea turtles because of my lovely parasites). I headed back to the hotel where Mike and I sat by the pool. It was delightful. Following the pool, we took naps, then headed out on the town for some good solid food. I had that amazing grilled cheese, but it was not as amazing as it had been before. I also was excited about the dollar daquris, but quickly was reminded that my medicine made alchohol verbotten :(. We returned to the hotel for our last common ground meeting. Although i was sad to say it was my last meeting, i was excited to go home. I think the break from St. Mary's will prepare the crew for a better run as an organization and I am looking forward to doing more work with them in the future. A January trip is begining to be looked at by the group of us who met and became close. We'll see how that goes.

That night Mike and I went out and he took pictures across the the french quarter. I am a little upset that i didn't have my camera with me at all, but also thankful because it meant that i needed to process everything i saw right there. However, i did spot this image, and Mike (as amazing as he is) took the picture.

Monday morning a group of about 10 made our way to the Fleur De Lis breakfast nook, and had a final meal together. I'll miss everyone so much. Each person brought out a new thing in me and reminded me of things in the past that i had forgotten or purposely buried. We said till i see you again to our new friends.

I realize the value in all relationships although some are tougher then others. They may not always turn out the way you want, but they have their reasons and values. To each their own, but i have come to a better respect of all my relationships. They teach me different aspects of life, and without them, i wouldn't be me.

After breakfast, Mike and I headed to my favorite gift shop. Its less stupid than all the rest. It has more classy gifts. It also has my favorite shirt which says "break the mold" with black and green mold spots around it. Yum. Mold. We got back to the hotel, where our creepy new roomate sat watching the news. We packed and headed to the airport.

The airport was smooth sailing. The first flight i had a man of larger caliber sitting on my left, with his arm and some of him crossing over the arm rest on to me. I tried to cuddle over to Mike but, he wasn't having much of that, which is fine. I slept some of that flight. Spent the rest reading "And the Band Played On", which in book form is better than the movie, and listening to my ipod. We arrived in Philly with enough time to run to our plane. Boarded that, and found to our delight that it was pretty empty. Mike and I had rows to ourselves. Quite a nice change from before. We taxied for a long time and arrived in Boston only a few minutes late.

Girl was there to meet me which was so nice. I couldn't have imagined how happy i was to see her face.

I am now at my new apartment, starting to put my stuff away. Its hard though, to have to go through all my stuff and remember what i have just been through. I have all of this crap, and there are so many people in New Orleans alone, who have nothing. I think i am going to go through some internal struggle in the days to follow, but i hope to some how get through. Thank you everyone for your support. Love you!!

Evacuation

Saturday night, after a long day of being ill, again, we were told that St. Mary's was to be evacuated. Some of this was most likely based on rumor, but it was said that the giardia was in the water source and that everyone was at risk.

Someone from the program, Volunteers in America heard about St. Mary's plight and offered rooms for us at the Crowne Plaza hotel on the corner of Bourbon and Canal. Thats where Mike and I will be spending our last 2 days in New Orleans.

It will be air conditioned which means its time to cuddle!

Friday August 11

Mike and crew got a new house today. I am bummed that i missed it because the house is near the levee break in the lower 9th and it still has a fridge in it! But on the plus side the house is covered in crap, and sludge and has spiders every where. So my sickness today has been a blessing.

I took 3 people to a clinic today and they were all diagnosed with giardia. That makes the total about 15. The CDC and FDA report that the highest isolated cases were 5 people, so go us for beating that record!

We are now in health crisis. K-Roll (one of the higher ups) and the rest of the common ground adminstrators/leaders have decided to close common ground starting Sunday. There are 3 places for people to go. 1 is to HOMA, in southern Lousiana to help out, 2 is to an apartment complex known as Woodland. They'll help do some clean up there too and the other is to stay here at St. Mary's and start on the clean up.

I've been trying to get in touch with Amy and Russell to see if they'd let us stay with them for Sunday Night to Monday because thank GOD! I come home on Monday.

Thursday August 10

Mainly i have been sleeping. On and off, i have a fever and i am very sick in the stomach. There is nothing that can be done to help the pain which is unfortunate.

We learned that they have now put one microbe filters in the kitchen so that our food is being cleaned properly as well as the water bottles for work crews can fill up there.

I feel awful in so many ways. For sure, physically. My body is aching, the last meal i ate was that wonderful chicken and rice on Tuesday night. I tried to eat some golden grahms, but that didn't go well. I am barely drinking becaues when the water hits my stomach it hurts. But i also feel very guilty. I feel like i came down here to do work, and instead i am now taxing an already very taxed organization. I am not pulling my weight. And i feel bad about that. I can't do very much, i can't stand for more than 20 minutes, so there is no way i can go into a house. Its all very frustrating.

Please pray for me that i get better soon.

Wednesday, August 9 - now things get interesting.

We slept in a bit from last night. Our bed time suggestion was 12:15, and we left Cajuns at about 1:30. Whoops.

We got out to the house that had been worked on the day before. It was very hott and we stopped about 2 hours in for a water break. I felt a little woozy, but just hot. We headed back in and i worked for about another 10 minutes and ran out side because i was extremely nauseaous. I drank some water, and then sat in the van for a few minutes trying to cool off. Rose called (she was sharing the van with us) and said she had volunteered to deliever lunches. So christina (who was leaving at 12) and myself went to Rose, got the food and delievered it very quickly to all the work sites in the upper 9th as well as the blue house in the lower 9th.

When that was done, i drove Christina to the airport, and was a bit discombobulated. I figured it was just something with me being hott. I came back to St Mary's and expained to carla about my stomach and my disorientation and she suggested I go to the clinic, and it just so happened that other people needed to go too. We hop in the van and I get lost. Very lost, all because i am so disoriented. When i call the clinic, i finally get directions and we get there, late. But they stay open for us.

So the doctor checks me out and then goes to talk to other doctors. He comes back and says i have Giardia (http://www.cdc.gov/Ncidod
/dpd/parasites/giardiasis/factsht_giardia.htm)

I was apparently the 8th case that week and that is cause for major concern. The doctors were now very concerned about the living conditions at St. Mary's. I am prescribed pills that are toxic when in contact with alchohol and also make you feel worse than the giardia does. I get lost again on the way home, and no lie, start to hallucinate on the road. I just need to get to bed.

We finally get back and i head to bed, and just sob. I feel so ill, and there is nothing that I can do about it, at all. There is no electricity in our room, so its swealtering, and I am ready to go home.

That night at the meeting, the coordinators say there is nothing wrong with the water and everyone should continue to drink the filtered water. The truth however, is that the filter water filters out sand and pebbles, not parasites. And none of the filters are for parasites, so good thing i've been drinking the filtered water.

I am so happy that i saved the bottled water Marian sent me for an emergency. Its what i am now living on.

Tuesday August 8 - Ask more questions!

We got a new house to gut today, so we were very excited. Mike and I co-rented a van with a woman named Rose and so our crew had a ride to the site.

We arrived at the site around 8am. It was a double sided shot gun house. One side was habited while the other was where we were supposed to gut. Mike went to the door and it was locked, he went all around and then met the resident who lives next door. The resident was not too friendly and yelled at mike. We decided to head back to Common Ground.

As we waited for a new house, a man named Gary had spoken to MIke about helping move a fridge. Mike and Greg were going to go, then i poked my nose in and said i was up for it too. So Greg and I get in the back of Gary's red truck. We're going along, all content, when we notice that the truck is getting on the major highway, 1-10. We kinda go with it until 20 minutes pass and we're near the airport. Greg and I start making jokes that we're going to die, that we were shipped of, that it was common ground survior and greg and i lost. Finally, we take an exit and drive for another 20 minutes and pull in to a McDonalds. Gary says we can get whatever we want. Greg and I both want shakes and I wanted a salad. However, McyD's is only serving breakfast right now. So Gary and his woman, Dorothy tell us to get back in to the truck and we'll get the fridge and stop some where else. We get back in the truck and drive for another 15 minutes. The truck stops at a warehouse and they tell us we have to go to the showroom, which thankfully is across the street. Its about 9:30, and ths store opens at 10. So now we have to wait. So Gary and Dorothy start looking at all the furniture and talking about which stuff they want in the house. We do this for 30 minutes. The store finally opens and we go inside and pick out a fridge. The woman, Dorothy is paying with a Salvation Army voucher, so my understanding is that she can only pick certain ones. She decided on a black one, which was really nice. Then she decided that she needed to look at stoves. And that she needed to look at couches, and that she needed to look at end tables! Greg and i gave up and just sat on the amazing couches for the rest of the time. I tried out a few beds just because i have missed the feeing of sleeping on something other than a cot. The fridge is paid for and Gary and this store guy load it up on the truck. The store guy says, "how far you goin'?" and Gary says, "not far". Then greg and i jump in back and the store guy says, "if those 2 are riding in the back, you'll need more rope" (thank god for that guy!!!!). We get on the road. Picture a fridge, standing up in the bed of a truck, with 2 young adults, with their backs against the fridge and their feet against the truck, hoping that they have positioned themselves enough that the fridge won't fall over. We're driving about 10 minutes, when we pull over at a McDonald's again. We get our shakes, and i get my salad, and we're very content. We get back in the truck and we're driving for a while, but it looks like we're heading back in to the city. So greg and I assume we're going back to New Orleans.

Did your math teacher ever tell you not to assume things? It makes an ass out of you and me (or in this case, greg and I).

So, yes, we were going back in to the city, yet again, on i-10. But wait, we've now passed the city and we're heading towards... Baton Rouge/Slidell? Greg and I decide here that it's important to ask more questions, always. So we're on this road forever. The wind is starting to push the fridge and we can feel it and now cars are looking at us and laughing. Greg and I in the mean time wave to most cars coming by and try to get all trucks to honk. 2 cops come by and tell us to atleast ride in the middle lane. I also took notice of the surroundings and its very clear that the hurricane damage does not stop in new orleans. Our trip to Slidell was about 45 minutes to an hour and the destruction can be seen along the highway. Still outside the city, commercial areas like malls are closed, apartment complexes have no tenants and still have the words "HELP" written on their roofs. Despite the hilarity of the situation, it was heart breaking to see what we drove through.

I realized about 20 minutes in to our trip to Slidell that this was where i went for the swap tour and we would be coming to a really big bridge. I was right. We were crossing lake ponchatrain when we noticed a very large rain cloud heading in our direction. We barely missed the rain when Greg and I spotted a funnel cloud to our far left. LUCKILY we passed that too. Eventually we get off the high way and end up at a self storage place. Greg and i are excited to put the frige in and then leave. Would it be that easy, of course not!

The storage door opens and it is full to the brim with crap. Ok, not all of it is crap. Some of it is legitimate stuff, but not in an orderly fashion, just thrown together. Gary takes things out and deems some items "chuckable" meaning they can be chucked to the back of the storage spot. Things like wood, machetes and tin are "chuckable". Gary won't take much advice from me, but we eventually get everything arranged and got the fridge in. When we walked back outside, it was pouring. So greg (who's about 6ft) and myself were to squeeze in the cab of the truck, in those little, made for 3 year old seats. It was a tight ride. But it only was a 15 minutes ride, because we arrived at their fema trailer. We got in their spacious trailblazer and headed back to new orleans.

Or so we thought. We ended up at their new house in the 8th Ward. They wanted to show us the house and how it was progressing. It looks a mess, but thats ok. It will eventually get better. FINALLY WE GOT DROPPED OFF AT ST MARY'S (where we are staying).

Greg and I found our crew and gut for the rest of the day (for about 2 hours or so). It was a long adventure. Our lesson learned: ask more questions.

Mike, Alice, Alisha and myself then did some laundry because we smelled like funk. The laundromat was next to a really sweet little cafe/restaurant. I had phenominal stewed chicken and rice and we drank Albita Restoration Ale (if you can get your hands on it, its really good!).

We then went out to Cajuns for Christina and Gregs last day :( Bye Christina and Greg, we'll miss you.

Also thanks for all the packages, they brighten my day!!!

Monday August 7

Monday is gutters day off, which is wonderful. We all slept in until about 10 or 11. Breakfast was wonderful pancakes and grits, yum!

Stephen, our site coordinator, had asked my crew to help out a woman down the street move some of her boxes from her driveway to her sheds. We gladly accepted an opportunity to work in the community and chat with a resident. Especially one who had lived across the street from where we had gutted the day before.

We arrived around 12 without any gear, because what we were told was we were moving bozes. The woman had a totally different idea. When we first arrived she told us she wanted her sheds in the backyard moved back on to the cement blocks that they had been on before the storm. With no equipment or preparedness, this task was impossible. She finally settled for the idea of us putting her stuff in to the sheds and someone else coming to help move the sheds another day. We began to move her stuff.

Lets talk about this stuff for a moment shall we? It was gross, flood water, in the rain, moldy, growing creature type stuff. We had no gloves or suits, and we were just touching everything with out bare hands. It was disgusting. The resident, just sat on a chair, smoked and pointed out which boxes went where. At one point i did strike up a decent conversation when i started to talk about mudpies because her dishes were full of mud and i said it reminded me of when i was little. Thats about the only time the woman smiled, which i guess was good. We were all pretty frustrated by the time we left.

After that we showered then a few of us went to the French Quarter. Maria needed to get spices for some of her co-workers. We walked around the french market where I almost bought a silver bracelet with the fluer de lis on it. (Mandamae, i've got a great birthday present idea for you). We then got this candy called divinity, which is this marshmellow concotion that is way to sweet for teeth. We headed to dinner where i had the greatest grilled cheese ever (yes steve, better than the pour house). It must have had 9 slices of cheese on it. YUM!

Later that night we went to Bourbon street. I became the designated driver, it seems to happen alot. I was pretty bummed about the whole thing. But whatever its over.

Long Days...

Its been a few long days. I'm tired, and trying to get enough sleep so i am as efficient as I can be.

I worked the desk all Thursday and was working it on Friday. In the middle of the afternoon, Brandon came up and said he needed to be taken to the ER. Brandon we come to find out via rumor mill had saved someones face by taking a shard of glass in his leg while holding up part of the celing they were gutting. Well, that was the story told to us. He actually was carrying a broken mirrior and got it in his leg. He had gone to the ER on the 27th, and was returning because his leg has become yellow and he couldn't really stand on it. So off to another free clinic I went. We decided we didn't like them and went to the ER. We arrived at the ER at 3, at 7 I ran out and got some dinner and at 12 he was finally called in to the actual ER exam room. We left around 2. He has to take anti-biotics, but other than that for now, he's ok. But i was tired.

We finished our house yesterday. We got out all the gross exploding cans, the toilets which had been full and all the lenolium your little heart could desire.

We will be starting (and hopefully finishing up) a new house today.

Last night there was a Distro (short for Distrobution) Prom and people went swimming. I unfortunately was too tired and went to bed at 10. Boo me the party pooper.

In other news:
I have a ton more mosquito bites - steriod shots may be on the next wish list
We had real sweet tea last night, i was in heaven
Marian sent cookies, and I (as well as my crew) Love her for that!
Luke, one of our fearless coodinators left today and Nile (one of our cremembers) is leaving tomorrow, VERY SAD
the rest of our crew disperses within the next week :(
My hand is healing nicely

thats all for now folks. I'll see you home in a little over a week :)

Operation New Orleans

Last night at our meeting we had a lengthy talk about the amount of National Guard, Police and Military enforcement here. Its actually quite frightening. Hummers drive by all the time and recently we have had many f16s and black hawks flying over head and we're just not sure at all what is going on. Its almost like we're in a war zone and they are patrolling around... Its erie. We're also being told how to deal with the Guard, which things to say and what we can't say. Its this whole big thing.

We also talked about the idea of common ground being a Shelter verses a Volunteer Housing Site. I guess prisons and homeless shelters who kick people out have been suggesting that they come straight here which isn't true. They need to come and be full time volunteers (about 40hours a week). It has created some frustration because some of the residents have been kicked out because they haven't been pulling their weight and there is no way to support moochers. Its a very hard situation for everyone.

Another girl spoke up at the meeting reminding all of us to continue questioning what we are doing here. Question the work we are doing, and who we are doing it for. Whats the energy we are putting in and why, where's our motivation? Yesterday at the site, Mike and the crew (which i was not with due to the hand injury) discussed why they were doing the things they were. It has gotten me thinking about my motivation and what I am doing here. Sometimes the service that is being done is for personal benefit. It makes you feel good about yourself. But here, its not a good thing, its not a self benefitting thing. I feel as though i am here 95% for others. I am not comfortable, i am hot and tired. The work is not easy and is not garunteed to be making a long term difference. Its possible that the houses will all be torn down, not matter what we do. Our work, in the end could be pointless. Which is very frustrating.

Also, i met a puppy today.

Sweat, blood and tears amoung other things.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 2.


Well, i did finally get to go out and start gutting a house. There was a large portion of it done, so we came in at the middle point. A few things were still left over from the flood in there, including some lovely smashed cans that smelled to high heaven. EW. There was also a squatter there and they had left some food, blankets, razors, etc, as well as lovely deposits in the toilet. Someone's dog was also loose in the house and luckily the bathroom hadn't been gutted yet, so there was a place that we could put him.

After we established jobs and got all the gear on we broke into two teams. Each team was on either side of the shotgun house. Mike and I were crew leads because of our expirience so we had our own crews!

Here's where it gets interesting. My crew was going through and we were working on pulling out nails and baseboards. Most of the gunk in the house was already out and we were doing some of the end work. It was very hot that day, and while in gear there was a lot of SWEAT. I was working on cutting wire that was holding 2 pieces of wood together. I was using a super pocket tool with a wire cutter, knives, kitchen sink, etc when i happened to slice my hand.

I screamed calmly to Mike (who thankfully is an EMT) "I stabbed myself" where we then went outside and everyone was looking at the amount of BLOOD coming from my hand. It didn't hurt at all. I was strong, and of course being the cool kid i am not so worried about it but rather intriuged. Mike bandaged it up very quickly and i sat on the porch for a bit. When lunch arrived, i was brought back to St. Mary's where we are staying and had the medic here look at it and clean it. Which is where the TEARS started to flow. The adreneline had worn off and I was in pain. I then got sent to the Algiers free clinic (2 clinics in one week!!). There it was decided that the cut was shallow enough to just escape stiches. YAY. Sad news though is that i am out of gutting until Saturday (but since today is Friday, I'm ok with that).

So for the past 2 days i have been sitting at the front desk, which has been almost as cool. Here I am able to meet all the new volunteers and also meet the residents who come in to sign up to gut their house. It gives me a chance to get to know these people and hear their stories which are amazing. Yesterday, i met a woman who lives nextdoor to a blind man with a seeing eye dog. She came in because his house had been gutted but there was still mold and it needed to be cleaned up (usually was is needed is to pressure treat the mold). The major issue is that the man has a goiter that is now growing on his neck and his dog is getting sick. So she's been trying to get him help. During the storm they were stuck together and swam to a little store. She said he knew exactly where stuff was. They were up to their neck in water and he would say, go to the third row, 2nd shelf down there should be cans of tuna, and he was right. She felt that she should help him now since he helped her then. She got a crew of a few people to go and pressure treat the house. It was quite amazing.

After the work day, we have dinner and then a community meeting. At the community meeting we bring up topics we feel are important to dicsuss. One of the boys from NY brought up something about the Race/Racim Caucus that really upset them. I guess during caucus they split up in to race groups. The group from NY is very diverse and have many races within them including one who is of caucasian appearance (I say appearance because you don't know his back ground). When they arrived to the segregated meeting, the group asked the "white" boy why he was there. It ended up being an issue that he was at this meeting and cause quite a stir. What stemmed from that meeting and brining it up was an amazing coversation about power, privlidge and race which most of us decided was a social construct. It was a very cool disucsion.

After that a group of us went to Bourbon Street so i could get my official Hurricane on bourbon. We also got Cafe Dumont Beignets. It was a great time had by all and we had a great nights sleep.

Plus:
Package delivery from Marian
Discussion around "Solidarity not Charity" - what does that mean to you?
Possibility of going to HOUMA
Going to the French Quarter
Meeting some GREAT people

Delta:
Electricity going on and off
getting frustrated with the food so early on
i have over 100 mosquito bites and nothing helps
the Gumbo Gatos left, and i am terribly sad.

Wish List:
a trash compactor
wooden push brooms that won't break.
grapes/apples/strawberries

Its been awhile.

I wrote a blog on Monday night and it got deleted and i was tired so i didn't rewrite it.

Monday night during orientation, we talked about the work we're doing in the lower 9th. We were told that everyone was thankful for the work we were doing, but to be aware that the work may be fruitless. It may still be bull dozed. We are making a statement. They will rebuild if we give them a chance. But in the end, the government has its way.

Tuesday we were assigned to do grounds again and i freaked out. I acted out by saying are you serious, we're an able body crew who has gutting expirience, put us out there. Then to top it off, the drunk/druggie kids were sent to a new house. Sorry, I'm not ok with that. Thats when i had my first break down. I cried so hard for the people of New Orleans, for the 9th ward. Its so hard to stay strong when you are helping them deal with their fate. They have no secure future. And i want to get out there and do what I can do. I want to be doing work. Not sitting around. Finally i got to be on a crew to clean up a house, finish nail pulling and getting the last bits of sheetrock. It was a good days work. And I am glad i was able to do it, because other wise i think i would be ready to go because i feel some what useless.

Yesterday was a great time though. The people i worked with from NY are awesome. They are a great group with great hearts. We had a blast hijacking an ice-cream truck and eating some really awesome ice cream.

Today we have formed a crew the funkin' ponies. We're excited and we got a house to gut. Unfortunately we are waiting for our ride which is now over an hour late so we're just sunning ourselves on the porch. Some how i need the patience to deal with this. I know i am doing what i can with the resources I have and i can't be that mad, but I am and that just makes me so much more frustrated. Its a vicious cycle right now.

Last night i did security with Mike. We met a guy named Barry and he's recently homeless. He surived the storm with his family, and just recently moved back here to NOLA from his evacuation desitnation Houston. However he is a crack head and mess up with his family. He is dedicated to changing his life and making a commitment to christ and he happened to meet me which was really cool. I left him a bible at the desk and I'm excited that my "thursday night" ministry has followed me here. Please pray for Barry on Thursday night, that he may find a place to live, over come his addiction and come to Christ.

We're hoping to head to the Bayou and work with the HOMA department of Common Ground. They do work on an Indian reservation that was destroyed so thats in the works. It should be awesome.

Wish List:
strength
patience
understanding
compassion
calamine lotion to make my 150+ mosquito bites stop
shorts
tank tops
cookies
a shower that i can shave in


There alot of new people and that is awesome. I have met some amazing people and I am so happy for that.