the retreat...

It is the Monday after a retreat. Usually, i'm in a wonderful mood. I feel spiritually refreshed and renewed and am totally wanting to begin my life over in a new light. For some reason, i am not, at all. If anything, i am a bit darker then before i left. I am a bit more depressed and a bit more frustrated. But who knows for what reason...

Friday night around 6:30pm, Nanny and MIT guy and i met up and headed up to NH to Camp Brookwoods. We made it there around 9:15 or so, arriving about the same time as Marian, which was funny because she was concerned by us leaving so late. It took her car about 5 hours to get there. We arrived, unpacked and joined everyone in the lodge for worship and dramatic poetry readings by the Lux Drama team (Marian and my favorite thing - NOT). Then everyone went downstairs to hang out and play games. After i lost miserably in fussball, i went to bed.

Let's just talk about how amazing my bed was for a moment. I had a wonderful sleeping bag (its mummy and its warm). I put my comforter and my fleece blanket inside the sleeping bag and made a nice little cocoon and it was really lovely. I did not want to get out of it either morning.

Anyways. Saturday morning was started with great breakfast, followed up by personal time, which i don't do so well with, so i hung out in Marians room. Then we headed to Large Group for some more worship then we broke up in to our small groups. There are 23 people in our small group and 2 of us were actually at the retreat (there were more people there from our group, but they were with their other small groups). Nanny and i had a decent time. We weren't very pleased by our track which i believe is what really fouled the weekend for me. The questions about Esther and Mordecai, although interesting, left something for us to desire. We did talk about our group and how to foster hospitality and community and reinvent the motivation the group had in the beginning. At 12:30 we had lunch and then did a game called "the machine game". The point is for a group of people to act as a machine, putting all pieces together to be as one (the whole is greater then the sum of its parts, etc). My group wasn't too into it. We did a vending machine and i was Suzy Q's (hostess cupcakes). It was a clever skit and we actually went on to the next round. After that, a group of us went tubing (with a tube, i am not sure the correct spelling). It was SO much fun. Really. One of the greatest times i've had in a while. We felt like we were kids again. I then went for a walk with Marian and came inside to eat peanut butter m&ms by the fire. Nice. Dinner was next, and was quite tasty, and then was the last small group of the day. Nanny and i joined back up to discuss more and get even more frustrated with the study. By this point, i felt like a kid and was totally not in to the retreat at all. I had no more desire to be there and honestly, would've been content to have left then. But i stayed and Nanny and i hashed out more group things and personal things. Then we had large group meeting, where the Vending Machine won the entire competition! It was crazy and we were all laughing and quite proud of ourselves. That was nice. A few of us did some more tubing, at night no less and then came inside and played a few more games and headed to bed.

Sunday, i was tired and cranky (sorry!). I felt like i had wasted a weekend. I wasn't in to the retreat, i wasn't in to the tracks. I felt as though there was no reason for 2 people to try to solve the issues of the large group. It is something we should all be doing! We left around 1:30 and got back to my apartment around 3:50.

Then the adventures really began. I texted Marian to find out when she'd be home. I was thinking about ordering dinner and figured i'd find out what she would like. She texted back : we're 11 miles away. I started to unpack and clean a little bit, when Marian called back to ask if i could rent a zip car because her ride's exhaust pipe fell and was dragging and they were waiting for AAA and there were people that needed to be driven home. The hippie saved the day with a zip car, delivering people home and then taking the very stressed driver and Marian out for dinner. Of course, the driver paid because she felt she had too. Silly girl. Finally, we made it back to the house where i cleaned, mainly unpacked and prepared for today.

I've been to the gym and now i'm at work and its snowing. Supposedly only a inch is supposed to fall, but i don't believe only an inch. It totally looks like more. Who knows. I am hoping to leave here around 6 so i can do homework for the rest of the night because of course i forgot my biology book at home this weekend. Sigh. Such is the life of a showering hippie.