So, i arrived to Seattle safely. Trace doesn't live in Seattle, she lives 50 minutes away! So Marian, we'll have to come out and look at Seattle another time! For those of you who did not know, i am here in Seattle for my friend's baby's christening where i am the Godmother!!! Yay!
I didn't really think too much about coming here, until i was on the second leg of my journey and was tired. The flights were pleasant. I made friends, of course, with the woman next to me on the flight from Philly to Seattle. She was traveling home to Montana from a 2 month stay in Amsterdam and was Native America. Such an amazing woman that you could just feel the spirit in her. It was great to sit and talk to her and she had very wise things to say about some issues currently in my life. She said from the moment i sat down, she felt turmoil in my heart and i know that sounds cheesey, and maybe because it is so true, i was drawn to her. I told her I'd rather not talk about it, and she graciously said that was ok, just realize the heart mends, and I'll be ok, if i let myself be ok.
I started thinking a lot about whether or rather how i'll let my heart be ok. Right now, i feel like the weight of the world is on it, and i just wanna pop something out of it. I wanna forget about it, pretend as if it never happen, i never ever encountered love before. But we all know that is not true and we all know that I have strong memories, so this who "heart reconstruction" is going to take a long time and a lot of prayer and a lot of work.
Anyways. I met my Godson. He is tiny and beautiful. Friends of Trace are staying here, also all young with a kid. It doesn't help me, especially when questions are raised about when will i find a nice guy, when will i be starting a family and on and on. Its hard to deal with those normally, but especially right out of this crap i am going through.
The baptism is today, and the superbowl tomorrow and whatever else. I am going to try to get to the gym at least one day so i can run off anger and fat. And that's all for now. Off to scrounge around for food.
Astrovirus
15 years ago
1 comments:
You're too young and pretty to be worrying about finding the right guy and settling down and having babies! Don't give into peer pressure. The guy I would have chosen at 18 is far different than the one I would have chosen at 21 or 23 or now at 27 and let me tell you I am very happy I didn't settle for the love of my life at any of those previous ages. Though perhaps you want the sage advice of someone who's actually in a relationship, not some spinster :). I will say, spinsterhood (just like styles of maternity clothes) has gotten better in recent years.
Post a Comment