I've been down and out...

I've been having a lot of trouble lately staying afloat. Job searches, Chem tests, boys and life have been dragging me down like a cement block. As much as i try to put a positive spin on most things, i still have this creeping darkness that over comes whatever silver lining i seem to find. In the end it will be ok, and I know that to some degree. Everyone keeps saying, just think when you find that job, it will be one of the most perfect jobs for you (the same thing applies for those silly boys).

I guess what i need is patience. I can't seem to be satisfied with the things infront of me. I should be happy that i have a wonderful temp job at Oxfam - its an organization i highly respect and love (and the people here are wonderful).

I should be content with my singleness. It means not figuring out who will pay for dinner and what thing we're going to on Saturday and whose house we'll stay at. It's the ultimate freedom. And yet, i am still seeking. I made the decision to stay single after a date, and really, i am good with that decision. It's just hard to see people out and about with their loved ones. Just because i choose to be single right now doesn't mean i don't desire relationships. If that makes any sense.

My classes are going well, but is that going to be enough to actually get me in to grad school? Will i succeed and do the thing i really want, become a nurse, or are the struggles to get there going to wear me down to the point where i can not go on?



Its sounds so lame when i write it here, but i don't care, because this is me, and where I'm at. So what if I'm a little lame (or a lot lame). You'll all still be my friends? Right?