Falling in love is like what?

Falling in love is like owning a dog
an epithalamion by Taylor Mali
www.taylormali.com

First of all, it's a big responsibility,
especially in a city like New York.
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you're walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain't no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.

Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.

Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know Don't you ever do that again!

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you're all wound up and can't move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

questions from Girl...

A few of us bloggers have been jumping on the band wagon of asking each other questions. Here are mine, posed by Girl:

1) The Wentworth boy...is he a former romantic interest? Any possibility of this going anywhere in the future?

the wentworth boy was a former romantic interest. Long story to say the least. It will not go any where in the future. I have finally come to realize what he's known for a year, we are phenomenal friends and i couldn't deal with myself if i jeopardized that in anyway. I care about him way tooo much. I did say however, if there was a guarantee that nothing would/could go wrong during the relationship or in the end, that yes, I would be interested. However, we all live in the real world and know that a guarantee like that is impossible. So right now, the wentworth boy is and probably will forever be, one of my best friends, not going any where else.

2) What is your happiest memory from third grade?

Third grade, let's see. Mr. Rice was my teacher... we grew butterflies in class and Mr. Rice hung this kid Justin on the basketball hoop. I think my happiest memory was being placed in advanced reading class. Made me feel good about myself. Third grade was a pretty rough year. Also, i think i got married that year to a kid named Andrew in the gym.

3) If you bought a house today, what would the top 5 priorities be for you?

1. Closets in all the bedrooms.
2. decent counter space and shelving in the kitchen.
3. a porch/deck/yard
4. a shower/tub, none of this one or the other crapola
5. lots of windows.

4) If you could pick a field to be a nurse in, which would you prefer?

Community Health, no doubt. Is that a field? I am not so sure... it's a focus area in school. I would focus on the low income side of medicine. Because i am a hippie. Community Health encompasses all fields of nursing to a degree, almost like diagnostic medicine, where you need to learn as much as you can about everything. I think because of my passion for correcting the wrongs of the world, i need to be in a field where i am working with the under privileged, who need to see me.

5) If you could eat a crayon, what color would it by and why?

The new crayola came out with Mac & Cheese, so clearly i would eat that. Perhaps it's color would remind me of the taste of real Mac & Cheese and i could get through the disgusting waxy taste it would actually be. :)

Today we are all...

Hokies.


and today we are Columbine.


Remember.

back in starbucks and it's still raining.

I'm studying again. We've got a big test on Wednesday on respiration and photosynthesis.... I have no clue how I'm going to do, but I'm trying.

In other news, Marian and I had an interesting conversation about the recent events at VTech. Events like these, at least for me, make one stop and think about their overall safety. In a world where we go out about our business as though we are impenetrable, reality can smack you hard in the face. Imagine sitting in class and being shot or watching classmates go through agony. The thing that affects me most is that its not just school any more. Its buses in Dorchester, buildings in NYC, subway stations... It's true that you can't live you're life in a hypothetical bubble, trying to hide from the danger we call this world, but I think people need to start becoming more aware of their surroundings.

How did a foreign national get 2 guns in the first place? I don't think I would know the first place to go to get a gun. How does a person go through life so miserable that their only alternative is to shoot up people? My biology professor noticed i was depressed and said something, do i just have a more aware professor, someone willing to step out of his role as educator and make sure his student was doing alright. Clearly there is no way to pinpoint one reason for this tragedy, but i do think the trail is interesting and something that each of us can look at in our daily lives.

How do you know that kid that sits next to you in class, the quiet one, isn't some crazy kid, and all that needs to happen to stop anything is for you to say Hi. Share a little respect to the homeless guy on the street, give him eye contact and maybe a smile and go on your separate ways. It won't hurt you, it might in fact start to make you a better person. We're not asking for giant things here, but the cliche, if everyone does a little bit - we can change a lot. Step back and think about it next time you pass judgement, next time you get uncomfortable, next time you feel sorry for someone, start to think about what you can do differently. Maybe by the time we have children, these shootings, these terrible events will be something in the history books. I once thought that way when I learned about Kent State, but then Columbine happened, and my world crashed, but it shaped me.

I know, the hippie in me has escaped and is running rampant. Peace and Love and all that bull shit. Just do it ok. The world could be a better place if you tried.

On a side note, i am on season 10 of friends. I am almost done, and will need something new to move onto, any suggestions? Also, could folks keeps their ears open for a cappella group opportunities, i am really antsy to get back in to one.

just an fyi

I didn't make the group, which really bummed me out. I was so excited about the possibility of singing again. It lifted my spirits, which was great. I felt like me again, which I haven't felt like in a while. I was happy, i was motivated. I had the potential for greatness, and what's crazy is how quickly i lost it. I've made some appointments to meet with folks about maybe talking about what is going on with me and getting through this darkness. After this weekend, i know that I am in there some where, i can find me again. I am going to continue looking for a cappella groups, i will keep studying and trying to complete my dream of nursing.

a quick update...

1. I've been spending a lot of time with the Ramifications. Partly because i have been depressed and they have always been able to lift my spirits. I'm trying to convince them to hire me as their manager and pay me to be as fabulous as i am as a volunteer. We'll see how that goes.

2. I am auditioning for an a cappella group Saturday. I haven't been in tip-top vocal shape in a bit, so i am concerned, but we'll see what happens. Apparently i know one of the guys who is auditioning people so maybe that will work in my favor, but truthfully, it's all up to my voice.

3. I am going to do the CNA program with the Red Cross. To do this, i need to pass an assessment test and get 800 dollars. I talked to PSC about helping me pay for it. Apparently they can't pay for it because it's considered "voluntary poverty" which is completely understandable. There is a possible alternative of them paying for rent and bills for a month and then when i get a job and a real pay check they'll stop. Also, my unemployment checks should be starting soon, which will also be helping.

4. I had to buy a blood pressure monitor. I am allowed to start working out again. My heart is ok, just has a low pressure. As long as the pressure is above 100, i can work out. Makes me happy!

5. I am on season 9 of Friends. To all of you who are sick of hearing me talk in Friends speak, I promise, I'm ALMOST done!!

I think that's it for now. Except for this cute picture.


The end.

How not to act on or after a date....

Tonight I went on a quick coffee date. I have emailed and chatted with Craig for a little while, and I finally felt comfortable to meet up with him. I was planning on studying in Starbucks tonight, so i suggested that we meet there. It was a public area so if for whatever reason he was sketchy, I had somewhere to go and people around me. I didn't think that he'd be a serial killer or anything because we had gotten to a comfortable place, and i was ready.

So, i was at Starbucks, with the computer and my biology homework. I looked cute, wearing my skinny jeans and my vest with cute white shirt. My hair was silky and shiny and i even was wearing some make up (shocking i know!). I ran into 2 friends while waiting for Craig to show up. It was nice to catch up and while i was chatting, Craig came in and introduced himself. My friends went home and we were left to talk.

I was really awkward. I totally had no clue what to say or how to act. I felt so uncomfortable, which made me feel even more self conscious and awkward. Our discussions were odd and there was a lot of uncomfortable silence. The end came and I was asked on another date, and i reluctantly agreed. I'm not good at purposely hurting someone. Then the goodbye was strange, with a lingering hug and hands on backs, and i just didn't know what to do.




Craig left, and then texted me saying "it wasn't so bad was it". I responded with "i'm still too nervous". I then went to text the wentworth boy, "i just had a horrible date. aah...", however, at the same time Craig was texting me.

Since all Gods are against me the text to the wentworth boy went to Craig. Oh yes folks. I could make the date even worse. Craig, being the bigger person, responded saying "it wasn't that bad was it..." and whatnot.

I talked to Ali and the wentworth boy and both had their nice little laughs, and told me that like a band-aid, i just needed to pull it off, quick and some what painless. So, after coming to terms with how much of an awful person I am, I sent an e-mail that hopefully conveyed how i feel in a i'm-not-a-complete-bitch way, though i am.

Lesson: don't act stupid and send a text to the wrong person.

bunny!

Happy Easter!!!

My dreams are funky.

So, i feel as though i took hallucinogens before i went to bed last night. I had a dream about a guy who's superhero name was the Rabbinator. He was a Rabbi who had super powers to do something like saving people from eating non-kosher food or something along those lines. It was quite ridiculous. The best part however was that every time he went to save someone Fall Out Boy's song "This Ain't a Scene, this is an Arms Race" played.

I have no clue what it was about. But I think I can dissect it a little bit.

1. At UNO's last night, we tried to name someone the Rhubarbinator.

2. We talked a little bit about Kosher meals the other night, and after watching the Hebrew Hammer, i think its just been in my head.

3. I have recently falled in love with Fall Out Boy. I heard an a cappella song done by them and then the wentworth boy poked fun that there was an a cappella group doing their stuff. I started to listen more to their music, and I'm hooked (as well as the wentworth boy is too). You should check it out.

Alright. I'm off. Might be more in a bit.

we found this car yesterday on our walk to Davis Square. the owner of the car was taking pictures when we can up to it. he said he has great friends. Happy April Fools - a day late.

what makes a good hotel room?

About 2 weeks ago i was in NYC with the wentworth boy. His students picked the Bedford Hotel, located near Grand Central Station. The website looks pretty nice and I was excited because i've never stayed downtown before.

The wentworth boy and i brought our stuff to room 807, where we learned what a truly horrible hotel stay can be like. Sure, there are worse places... but for 3 days, this was hell.

1. Our bed: it was really wide, yet short. I'm serious, short. It was the hardest bed you've ever felt, yet had a nice bounce (i could do ab exercises and the wentworth boy had fun jumping on it). The sheets were also short, and came up to our chest. Out of 5 pillows, 2 had actual shape to them, the other 3 were bags filled with air and a feather or two. It was the worse sleep ever, oh wait, we didn't sleep. At 3:30am on Thursday, we were both up and ready to go because we had not slept at all. IT WAS TERRIBLE. The headboard was not connected to the bed, but screwed partially in to the wall. When ever you moved, it moved and hit the wall and made noise. It was very possible to get your fingers pinched in it too.

2. Climate Control: When we walked into the room we put on the AC. The wentworth boy and i like cold rooms, so it was a good plan. When we went to sleep we turned off the AC, so we wouldn't get too cold... the room then became ridiculously hot, couldn't even keep the basic flat sheet on. The room was dry, so all through the night i was drinking water to try to keep myself some what hydrated.

3. Water: was so cloudy because it was so filled with bubbles. It was gross, but had that wonderful metallic taste that apparently makes NYC pizza so yummy.

4. Coffee: seemed like a great idea. the wentworth boy and i were obviously tired, and thirsty, coffee would do the trick! the wentworth boy started the coffee, and i asked if there was cream and sugar in the kitchenette (oh yes, we had a kitchenette!). We looked for cream and sugar, but, low and behold... it was actually already IN the coffee. Oh yes, already in the grounds that were being brewed. Yeah... yummy.

5. Alarm Clocks: Eventually the wentworth boy and i were able get to sleep. I think our bodies were SO exhausted that they could do nothing but sleep. About 2 hours in to that much needed rest, the alarm clock that was NOT set, went off, twice.

6. Bathtub: the wentworth boy forbade me to take a bath in the tub. It was quite gross. The shower it self wasn't so bad, but the tub was dirty.

7. Technology: failed us. The internet went in and out, and the television had horrible channels and they were fuzzy. The volume of the channels were all different and when you turned up the volume for one, the next station would be obnoxiously loud.

8. Paper thin walls: enabled us however, to hear the TV from the room next to us, as well as coughing man.

Lastly, there was no bible in the entire room, there were broken hangers, and we only got one key card until asking for another one. Wow, that hotel was a blast. the wentworth boy and i talked about the possibility of bed bugs, which was not a fun thought at all. The room did have a decent view, it wasn't wonderful, but we could see the Chrystler Building from it.

I doubt I stay again there. I like it when i can sleep in a hotel, and when my coffee comes with separate cream and sugar. I like it when i have lots of television channels and having the option of reading the Gideon bible.