i am a tough guy.... right?

I always try to be a tough guy. I try to not let things affect me outwardly as they do inside. inside, i am ripped apart and in pain. Right now, i am sad because it's thanksgiving and i like to pretend that i don't need any one. i like to pretend that i'm ok not going any where. I'm not with family, so i'm ok right?
Not true. I want to go to NY. I want to see everyone i love. I want to be surrounded by family. I don't want to depend on everyone to drive me around like a 15 year old. I want to just be on my own. I want to see people.

I'll be ok.