life will go on.....

So. I want to first off say thank you to everyone for asking what they could do and offering words of support. It is much appreciated. Almost as appreciated as the gallon of wine someone got me for my birthday. It was almost as if we were planning for destruction.

It had been known that my boss and I have been having difficulties. However, she has been known to have problems with most persons at work and most of us just vent and get it over with. I thought for me, that was the same.

Tuesday I walked in after being out all Monday because of a doctor’s appointment. I just started new medication and had just finished explained to my boss that the medication made me feel quite disoriented and I was unable to tell what color the sky was. It was almost like on cue that she started asking questions at rapid speed and I never had answers for them. Finally she got to a project and said, “oh that doesn’t matter any more, I gave that project to so-and-so because you obviously aren’t going to get it done.” And that is when it started. I asked her if she had any faith in my abilities what so ever, and without any pause or hesitation she said no. I said that is a big problem and she said yes, it is. And I then said, ok, so then what are our next steps to correct this so we can get on the same page, and she says, “you either give 2 or 4 weeks notice, that’s all there is left.”

The rest of the day, I holed up in my office and did research in my office. I emailed people spoke to my roommate and decided not to write a resignation letter. I was proud of my job and myself and I didn’t want to leave. I wrote an email to my executive director expressing that and she was incredibly apologetic that things have gone down as they had and perhaps “it was best for everyone”.

Wednesday I came I without a written letter and was approached to write a letter when I expressed that I wasn’t going to resign and asked why not, I expressed my stand on how proud I was of my work and what I had done. I told my boss how much I loved my volunteers and the staff here and I wasn’t about to leave all that. She then responded saying that I “better expect them to contest any unemployment claim” and I responded with asking them to consider unemployment because this came so unexpectedly and without any warning. I may have some money in savings, but nowhere near enough and it will be hard to find a job. So if you’re going to take a job that I love away, at least make it easier when I go home.

It was decided that I would be resigned forcefully, but not technically fired, but that I would be able to collect unemployment. The conditions were that I would need to leave immediately. So, that was Wednesday.

Yesterday, I called unemployment and I have to wait to apply so that will come. Right now I am just coming to terms with things. I have applied for a job and obviously waiting to hear about that. I am trying to figure out if a full time job is the smartest idea. Perhaps I will look for jobs at hospitals that will pay for nursing schools or EMT programs and part time jobs. Not totally sure yet.

Right now I am just looking for support from friends because I am in shock. I have never been told that I am a bad employee. I have always been the good girl, the hard worker, the over achiever, so this whole experience has been just mind-boggling. So thank you for all being you.