helloooo nurse...

I got out of work extra late last night, and missed my normal quick 47 bus to Cambridge. Instead I walked over to the E line and took the train in bound, and switched at Park Street. This is something I have done hundreds of times, and never thought twice. As I was leaning against one of the pillars at the red line platform, playing "who wants to be a millionaire" on my phone, a woman approached me and said coyly "hellloooo nurse".

At first, I assume it was a friend, but as the scantily clad woman (wearing a black, tight zip up hoodie and a short zebra print skirt) circled me like a shark, i realized, this was more foe than friend. I ignored as best I could, but then when she circled through, asked me if she could come home with me. I said, no and went back to playing my game. She continued to circle until the train came and I got on one car and she got on another car. I thought my worries were over.

Of course at Charles MGH, she got on my train, and walked up and down the middle isle. She settled somewhere on the other side of the T, and I felt as though there were enough people around that I was still ok, just annoyed. At Central Sq, the person sitting directly across from me got off, and my dear stalker, sat down. Mind you, she is wearing a super short, zebra print skirt. She sits with her legs spread WIDE open, for all the world to see, and followed that with "you want some of this." Oh, and if you are wondering, yes, i saw her v-jay-jay (that is the technical term you know). And so did the people on either side of me. There were chuckles, snorts and quite a few gasps.

I intently played my game, and did my best to ignore that horrible train wreck sitting across from me. I decided to get off at Porter Sq because I would be able to quickly get in to the grocery store and get a cab home from there. I get off the train at the last possible moment, hoping that the door catches her and I loose her. Instead, she gets off too, and heads up the other escalator, only to meet me at the top, asking me if I was headed home with her. I kept going and at each escalator, she was there, to wink, or make a comment. I booked it through the parking lot, while talking to Atree. I couldn't see her, and I felt safe among the food of Shaw's.

That was until I was in the frozen food section. My friend was standing in front of my favorite freezer door (Ben and Jerry's of course) and asked if i was going to make dinner and have her for dessert. I said, no, I am going to get security. And that is what I did. 10 minutes later the police showed up, I gave my statements, and I noticed my lovely "professional" friend being escorted out in cuffs.

The nice cop gave me a ride home and I chilled out in front of the lifetime classic "the other sister", without my Ben and Jerry's.